Alpha Witches
by RavenclaWriteRules
Summary: "And evil takes a human form in Dragomira Mélusine Mordiford Malfoy. Don't get me wrong, she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing pretty faced snake, but in reality, she's so much more than that," Ronnie Weasley added. "She's the alpha bitch, the prima bella donna. Those other two are just her little workers." Discontinued because omg wtf even is this.
1. Stop Trying to Make Fleek Happen

"Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us," the dark-haired woman spoke, sounding as if she had eaten an entire onion and was still reeling from its ugly aftereffects. "She just moved here all the way from India. Welcome."

Hari looked around, wondering who the teacher could possible be talking about, only to realize that all eyes were on her. Not even Padmesh and Parvesh Patil were close to the center of attention.

"I'm from Surrey," Hari frowned, making eye contact with the teacher.

"Great. Her name is Harriet," the woman continued, her lip curling unpleasantly.

"Actually my name is Hari and yes it is short for something else, but not an anglicized moniker," Hari continued, wondering what this woman might have in for her.

"My apologies," the teacher replied, not seeming sorry at all. "Miss Potter. Our very own celebrity."

Hari clenched her teeth and fought the urge to correct him once more. But just then, she noticed a hand rise from next to her. A boy with dark brown skin and unmanageable, bushy hair stood up and raised his hand.

"Mister Granger," the dark-haired teacher sneered. "Where are you going?"

"Professor Snape, I have to go to the lavatory," Hermes Granger replied.

"Did I say you could stand up and leave my class, Granger?" Professor Snape asked dangerously. "No, I did not. Sit down and... _contain_ yourself for another half hour, if you can."

Granger frowned, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh, and do wake up Weasley. She would _hate_ to miss _another_ lecture, wouldn't she?" Snape snarled dangerously, banging a snoring Ronnie's desk.

"Gah!" Ronnie woke up with a start, gasping. Hari began to feel somewhat sorry for her as the dark-haired teacher crossed her arms ominously.

"I see my classes aren't important enough for you, are they, Miss Weasley?" she sneered.

"If you p-please, sir..." Ronnie whimpered. "Um...I have to go to the bathroom..."

"Oh, do you now? Do you really?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I can't let you go, however, Miss Weasley. Do you know why?"

Just then, Quibilah Quirrell banged the dungeons' door open.

"TROLL!" She screamed. "IN THE LAVATORY!"

Snape and the rest of the classroom stood there in speechless silence.

"Oh, did Mourning Melvin find a way into the main stalls?" The bushy-haired boy groaned, crossing his arms.

Without another word, Quibilah gasped dramatically and swooned, nearly falling on top of Snape, who caught her and considered dropping her with disgust.

"Sévérine, we must go - and t-take care of the threat," Quibilah murmured, putting her hand up to her turban and groaning dramatically.

"Yes, indeed," Snape accomplished one of the most weary eye-rolling stunts of all existence. "But hurry. And do not touch anything, understood, you brats? Otherwise I'll take away five hundred points from your pathetic House. No, I retract. I'll take away five hundred points as collateral, right now, and if anything occurs while we are gone, then I will not return them," she sneered and walked out, taking the time to pat a beaming blonde girl on the head.

Hari sat in place, too scarred for life to say anything.

"Um, sorry about the bathrooms, mate," Ronnie murmured, patting the dark-skinned boy on the back.

"W-what? I didn't say I-" Granger's face started to turn red. A very faint red, but red nonetheless.

"It's alright," Ronnie yawned, stretching and unintentionally smacking Hari in the face. "Ayoh, sorry bout that. It's okay, sometimes ya just gotta go," she nodded fervently.

"No, really, I don't have to - oh my god," Granger groaned and covered his face.

Just then, a few loud yells and magicky sounds thundered through the castle, presumably the sounds of responsible grown-ass adults dealing with the troll.

"By the way, if the troll is in the lavatory, doesn't that mean we should evacuate? You know, since we're in the dungeons too," Hermes frowned concernedly.

"Well I don't know about that, Granger," a snide voice replied. "If we were to leave, that would be disobeying Professor Snape's commands, wouldn't that? Why, it would almost appear as if you didn't know how to follow directions."

Hari recognized her as the blonde-haired girl Snape had patted on the head. Granger looked as if he wanted to throw his book at her, but this only made the girl smirk more.

"Nice weave, Granger," the blonde sneered. "What's it made of?"

"A Hairy MacBoon!" Granger replied, crossing his arms and angrily returning to his book. The dark-haired boy and two muscular girls behind the blonde girl laughed cruelly, but the blonde girl had already set her sights on something else.

"And you must be Harriet Potter," the blonde girl nodded at Hari.

"It's Hari Potdar-"

"These are Vivian Crabbe and Gretel Goyle, by the way," the blonde continued, pointing at the muscular girls. The boy on her shoulder scowled. "Oh. And Pandarus too..."

"Great," Hari replied, grinding her teeth. There were a few moments of silence as the two girls made eye contact, sizing each other up.

The blonde paused for a second, squinting curiously at Hari. "You're like, really pretty...did you know?"

Hari growled, feeling the hairs on her neck standing up.

"Oh my god, I love your bindi," she added, smiling coyly.

"It's a scar," Hari deadpanned.

"Where did you get it?" the blonde girl asked, completely unashamed.

"Local tattoo artist who goes by the name Mr. Figg. He also gave me a Pigmy Puff, but you can't see it while I'm wearing a shirt."

"It's adorable," the blonde replied coolly, still unfazed.

"Oh, that is so fleek," Gretel cooed.

"What is "fleek?" The blonde ringleader frowned.

"Oh, it's, like, slang. From America," Gretel replied excitedly, though everyone remained unconvinced.

"So if you're from here...why are you brown?" Crabbe frowned, squinting at Hari.

"Oh my God, Crabbe, you can't just ask people why they're brown," Gretel whined.

"Excuse me, can you two idiots get back on track?" The blonde snapped. "Now, listen up, Potter-"

"It's Potdar-"

"OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, so this is, like, a really huge deal. We wanna invite you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week. You don't want to end up sitting at a lunch table with the wrong sort, do you?"

"No thanks," Hari replied.

The blonde smirked. "So we'll see you tomorrow-"

"I said, thank you for your generous offer but I'm afraid I'll have to turn it down," Hari replied. "And please apologize to Hermes and Ver-uh, Ronnie."

Hermes looked up, surprised.

The entire classroom stared at the blonde girl and her squad. Her face had turned red and she opened her mouth, about to scream something loud and biting-

"Th-thank you so much f-for taking care of that, Sévérine," Quibilah crooned.

"Yes, yes, now go back to your classroom, Professor Quirrell," Snape replied irritably. "What's this?"

The standing Gryffindors and Slytherins, unsure of what to do, immediately sat down as quickly as possible.

Snape growled.

"Time to start subtracting points, I see."

With that, the dark-haired woman paced the length of the room, muttering to herself. Hari stared, transfixed, at her dark lipstick and thickset eyebrows.

"Veronica Weasley, two points from Gryffindor thanks to you. Hermes Granger, four points. Four because of you, Granger, well done. And...Miss Potter..."

Hari growled. "Potdar. _Please_."

"Oh, Potter, here you go, fifty negative points for you."

"Do I get one?" Gretel asked excitedly. The professor rolled her eyes.

"And none for Gretel Goyle. Class is dismissed." Before the students could protest, however, the vampy teacher lifted her dark cloak with one arm and vanished into the darkness.

A few seconds passed, before the entire class started getting up and moving again. Within minutes, the whole room had cleared out, leaving Hermes Granger, Ronnie, Hari, and the strange blonde girl's squad.

"How come you didn't lose any points from Slytherin?" Hermes demanded.

"Hey, it's not that big of a deal-" Ronnie spoke, trying to be helpful.

"We just lost a hundred and six points, and you walked out completely untouched! Why is this?" Hermes demanded, tearing out his own hair in frustration. Ronnie looked alarmed, as if watching him do so was somewhat painful.

"Yeah, whatever, loser," the blonde girl rolled her eyes than turned towards Hari. "And as for you...Potdar..." she sneered.

 _Ah, well at least she figured out my name,_ Hari deadpanned mentally. "Yes?" She mustered up her best sickly sweet smile as the blonde moved in closer and closer.

" _YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!_ " the blonde screeched shrilly into her ear. Hari jumped back and clapped hands onto both of her ears, reeling from the pain. Looking satisfied, the blonde beckoned the rest of her squad and they walked out.

"Somebody should just stab her," Ronnie remarked. Neither Hari nor Hermes appeared to disagree.


	2. Sticky Situation

Hari sat down with Ronnie and Hermes, still unsure of what to say.

"So who was that girl who talked to me?" She asked, and Hermes appeared to understand immediately that she was referring to the weird blonde Slytherin. "Oh, her?" He asked irritably. "You're better off not dwelling on her too much."

"So, do you know who she was?" Hari asked. Hermes just scoffed and ran a brown hand through his bushy hair.

Ronnie stopped inhaling her food and looked up. "Listen, Hari, I feel like you're still confused about this stuff, so I'll tell you." She set down a chicken drumstick that had been the size of her head, but was now reduced to a pile of bones. "That there is Gretel Goyle. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Hermes sits next to her in Charms."

"She asked me what the spell for 'Aguamenti' was," Hermes muttered.

Ronnie nodded and continued. "That little one, that's Vivian Crabbe."

"She's totally rich because her dad invented Floo powder," Hermes muttered bitterly.

"Yeah, she's nasty, but watch out for Gretel- she is in everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone. That's why her wand is so long. It's full of secrets."

"Wands don't work like that," Hermes raised an eyebrow. Ronnie ignored her and continued, finally nodding at the blonde Slytherin.

"And evil takes a human form in Dragomira Mélusine Mordiford Malfoy. Don't get me wrong, she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing pretty faced snake, but in reality, she's so much more than that," Ronnie added.

"She's the alpha bitch, the prima bella donna. Those other two are just her little workers," Hermes remarked dully.

Hari stared over at Dragomira. She looked harmless for a few moments, until she smirked and waved over at her. Hari flushed and looked back down at her food. "She seems pleasant."

"Yeah, my sisters can confirm that for you," Ronnie muttered. After a few moments, however, she decided that maybe Hari would like her to change the subject. "By the way, what is Hari short for?"

Hari snorted. "My personal theory was likely Harita, Harithi, Haritha, Haritima, Harishma, one of the bunch of names that all mean green. My uncle and aunt refused to tell me because they hated me, all they would ever do is say "Your mother was a dirty, ugly woman who couldn't hold down a job." Aunt Veronica hates the fact that I have dark skin like Mom, and Uncle Peter hates the fact that I have his brother's green eyes, so I figured it had to be Indian and short for something like that."

"I see," Ronnie muttered. "Sorry about that..."

"It's my life," Hari replied dully. "Though I talked to Dumbledore and all I got was "Hari, your name is not your wand. You are the only one who can choose it, not the other way around.""

"Wow, that is so deep, girl," Ronnie spoke, spraying rice. Hermes wrinkled his nose with mild disgust and neatly wiped his mouth, then put his napkin back into its ring.

"Yeah, but I wasn't satisfied with that cryptic response so I made them take out my birth certificated and it said Harinaksi, or "doe-eyed." I asked why, and got an answer that went something like "You know, your father's Patronus was a doe" so I figured it was because my father had the green eyes. So in the end, yes, I am named after my eyes." She slumped over. "As if enough people didn't already tell me about them all day. Oh, how unusual! I don't see many brown skinned people with bright green eyes like that! I swear, Snape gives me the creeps when he stares at them like that."

"Well, yeah, Snape gives everyone the creeps," Ronnie replied. Hermes looked around panicked, as if he expected Snape to be standing directly behind them somehow. Hari laughed.

Dragomira seemed to look up and notice Hari laughing. Frowning, she sauntered over, with Pandarus Parkinson, Gretel Goyle and Vivian Crabbe following her.

"Hi loser," Dragomira smiled brightly at Hari.

"Hi," Hari replied.

"Enjoying your treacle tart?" She pursed her lips. "I hope nobody added any nasty poison to it?"

"So far, no," Hari replied.

"Oh, that's good to know. Well, I suppose we should be off," she smirked, "wouldn't want to be caught in a sticky situation, I'm afraid."

With that, she turned around and flounced off, her skirt swinging.

Hari raised an eyebrow and decided to stand up to go to the lavatory. However, as she tried to, her skirt fell off, leaving her in boyshorts. Hari froze in the middle of the process of standing.

Ronnie and Hermes looked at her with mild concern. Fortunately, as she hadn't tried to stand up quickly, she hadn't flashed her underwear for all to see, but she still sat back down self-consciously. Smiling nervously at Hermes and Ronnie with a "no problems here I got this" face, she yanked at the edge of her skirt.

It refused to come off the chair.

Hari took a deep breath. Malfoy had used a Sticking Charm on her skirt.

No, a _Permanent_ Sticking Charm.

Morgana Le Fay, she was going to pay.

* * *

"And how are you doing, Potter?" Malfoy smirked, sauntering into the room.

"Leave her alone, you evil snake!" Ronnie screeched.

Malfoy only laughed. "Oh, come off it Weasley. It was just a little joke."

"It was not a joke, and if it was, that was a mean one," Ronnie growled.

"Oh please. Why are you so obsessed with me, Weasley? Are you jealous just cause your family couldn't even afford a square foot of my mother's property holdings?" Malfoy taunted.

Ronnie seethed, but Hari calmly put her arm in front of her and walked up. Malfoy blinked as she approached her, getting closer and closer, but only smirked when their faces were within inches of each other.

"Oh, do you have any complaints, Potty?" She asked mockingly. "After all, you seem to have gotten off just fine. Nothing you couldn't handle, right? You _are_ a big girl, after all? Or...did you have to make Granger charm those pathetic rags to cover you up? Or...did those come from his personal wardrobe?" Crabbe and Goyle laughed and Pandarus snickered, congratulating her on the burn. Hermes looked as if he'd rather be anywhere else right now. Ronnie was just about ready to kill and claim self-defense.

Hari just smiled and replied "If you really wanted me to take off my skirt, you could have just asked, Malfoy."

Ronnie and Hermes froze. Hari only laughed lightly. She was used to this. She had grown used to dealing with Veronica Dursley's racist and homophobic remarks - this was no biggie compared to that.

"I - I - what the hell? You - I'm not-" Malfoy spluttered.

Hari laughed and winked, blowing her a kiss. "See you later, Dragomira. Oh, and..." She grabbed both Ronnie and Hermes and held them close to her in a meaningful manner, "I can get into the pants of whoever I want to, thanks."

Malfoy froze, her mouth wide open, and Hari laughed, nudging Ronnie and Hermes away. "Come on, guys. We have places to be."

Yeah, she could deal with them, alright. Nothing that Harinaksi Potdar wasn't ready to face.

As she walked away, Malfoy watched her sashay in those weird Muggle trouser things, which oddly enough fit her despite how plebian and boring and poor they obviously were. Malfoy gritted her teeth.


	3. Raise Your Wand

Hari yawned and poked Ronnie in the rib. "Ronnie, breakfast," she mumbled sleepily.

Ronnie grumbled and opened an annoyed eye at her. "I was having a good dream, you know."

"Oh? What was it about?" Hari asked in a bored tone, already looking through her small trunk for a change of clothes. "Hermes delivering a special message to you?"

"Wha-no! Nothing like that! I don't see Hermes like that, ew ew ew!" Ronnie shrieked. "I was dreaming about eating a giant freshly baked apple pie."

Hari rolled her eyes. "Well if you hurry, your dream might just become reality," she remarked, pulling on a clean shirt.

Ronnie sulked for a bit, then wearily crawled to the edge of her bed and started dressing as well. By the time they had finished brushing their teeth, Deanne Thomas and Shawna Smith had begun to wake up and roll out of bed together.

Finally, after much grumbling, they made their way downstairs and Hari sat next to Ronnie, waiting for food to be served. Dumbledore proclaimed some whimsical blah blah speech and after everyone pretended to laugh at their esoteric head teacher, the food finally appeared. Ronnie licked her chops and immediately went for a plate of hash browns. Hari, who was used to scarfing down food whenever it was presented to her, immediately wolfed down a stack of hotcakes.

"Could you possibly eat any faster, Potter?" Malfoy's voice came from over her shoulder.

Hari ignored the urge to correct her and continued eating her plate of eggs. She had a feeling that she might have ticked off Malfoy, because next thing she knew, her lovely warm hotcakes were transformed into a plate of tasteless mud.

Hari groaned and Vanished the mud, then reached for some more food. This time it turned into old cheese. Hari rolled her eyes and started munching on an apple. A pale fair-skinned hand knocked it out of her grasp and it rolled on the floor.

"Do you have something against apples?" Hari asked, irritated. Finally, she had to turn around and face Malfoy. Malfoy smirked, looking satisfied. "What, was that apple your ex? Did you have a thing going on?" Hari continued, still irritated.

"What? Certainly not," Malfoy frowned. Then her grin turned more malicious. "So, Potter," she drawled, placing one hand on the table and leaning in closer. "Are you feeling thirsty today?"

Hari raised an eyebrow. Did Malfoy know the implications of what she had just said? Well, maybe. Eh.

"I'm good, thanks," Hari replied.

"Are you sure?" Malfoy crooned. "Because if not," her voice suddenly took on a growl, "we can help you with that. NOW!" She shrieked.

On cue, Parkinson, Crabbe and Goyle all pointed their wands at Hari and blasted her in the face with streams of water. Goyle's wand shot out a few butterflies.

"What the hell, Gretel?" Malfoy shrieked. "That was not according to plan!"

"But I like butterflies," Gretel whined. "They're so tiny and pretty-looking."

"Whatever," Malfoy sneered, "and now for round two!"

 _That also sounds kinda wrong, if you keep your mind long enough in the gutter,_ Hari thought to herself.

Immediately, Parkinson reached behind him and pulled out a cauldron full of a steaming potion. Smirking at Hari, he tipped it over and green, slimy ooze poured out. This time, however, Hari rolled her eyes and muttered a quiet spell while Ronnie and Hermes hollered "PROTEGO!" Suddenly, Malfoy and her gang found themselves covered in the green muck.

"Well, thank you for the drinks, Malfoy," Hari spoke breezily, standing up and walking away with a newly filled plate of hotcakes. "I assume they're...on the House?" she smirked.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, POTTER!"

"Pot-dar," Hari corrected.

Just then, Professor McGonagall walked up to the table, frowning most displeasedly.

"What exactly is going on here?" He demanded. "The students are trying to enjoy breakfast, and - OH!" He yelped, noticing Dragomira and her goons.

"Sir, it was Potdar's fault, she covered us in green goo!" Gretel Goyle whined.

"Yes, it was all her doing, we were just innocent bystanders in this mess," Dragomira simpered.

McGonagall shut his eyes and reopened them, glaring at Dragomira. Then, after a beat, he pointed his wand at his throat and hissed " _Sonorus_." His wand then emitted static and a feedback whine, just like a microphone.

"Please raise your wand if you have ever felt personally victimised by Dragomira Malfoy," McGonagall roared, his voice suddenly magically magnified by a thousand times.

For a few seconds, nobody moved, then all three Houses minus Slytherin raised their wands.

"That's what I thought," McGonagall barked, having restored his voice to proper volume. "I want every single one of you in my office to explain this."

"Why not just call on some eyewitness accounts?" Hari asked angrily.

"Hari, don't-!" Hermes warned, looking fearful.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "Alright, I will call forth a number of students who were close enough to see what happened. However, be warned. Unless you happen to be a practiced Occlumens or have been slowly immunizing yourself to Veritaserum, which is a highly regulated and controlled substance, I will find out what really happened."

 _Oh great,_ Hari groaned to herself. _He won't really use Legilimency or Veritaserum on us, will he?_

"I'm sure he'll just make us do something painful but not illegal, just to make us crack," Ronnie whispered in her ear.

"Like what?" Hari hissed back.

* * *

"Malfoy, keep your eyes open. We wouldn't want you to be missing a second of this - it is highly important to your education here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy," McGonagall spoke.

"WELL THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM IF I TRANSFER TO DURMSTRANG!" Malfoy shrieked.

"Professor, please - I can't watch any longer!"

"MORGANA, RIP MY EYES OUT AND WASH THEM WITH ACID - LIBERATE ME FROM THE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF THIS PHYSICAL FORM, SO THAT I MIGHT ONCE MORE FIND PEACE!"

"I'LL GIVE MY PLATINUM EDITION CELESTINA WARBECK RECORD TO BE FREED FROM THIS."

"YOU HAVE A PLATINUM RECORD BY CELESTINA WARBECK?!"

"Thank you so much for your help, Professor Hagrid," McGonagall spoke gratefully.

"No problem, Minori!" Hagrid spoke cheerfully. "Pay attention, ya little 'uns! This is what happens when a, er, male Flobberworm and female Flobberworm love each other very much-"

"STOP STOP OH GOD MAKE IT STOP-"

"You know, I just get so choked up when younger chilluns express an interes' in Flobberworms," Hagrid held back a sob, "Flobberworms are an endan-gered species, yannow, and I jes' think it's so sad tha...if it weren't fer modern husbandry techniques, ya wouldn't even have a chance ta see 'em wif yer own two eyes-"

"YEAH THANKS I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT!"

"Alright," McGonagall coughed, "let us see...Malfoy, did you or did you not brew that Potion using ingredients taken from Professor Slughorn's office-"

"OKAY FINE YES IT WAS ME UGHHHHH!" Dragomira screeched, sobbing. "Can I _please_ shut my eyes now?"

"I suppose you might as well," McGonagall replied airily.

Hari took a deep breath and Hermes grabbed her arm, looking a little queasy. Ronnie muttered something about throwing up slugs again.

"This isn't the last you've seen of us, Potter," Malfoy hissed, then vomited into a sick bag cheerfully provided by McGonagall.

"Yeah well personally I'd rather go back to watching the Flobberworms mate than ever deal with your face again," Hari replied.

Malfoy's face turned stark white and she opened her mouth to shriek, only for Gretel Goyle to projectile vomit onto her already green muck-covered clothes.

* * *

 **Guest** : **Thank you so much for reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed the read, I do hope that hasn't changed.**


	4. No More Updates!

No more updates! The only way you're getting more content is if you ask to adopt it.

Leaving it up here for the sake of history but I can't possibly think of a plot to this crackfic. It's gone, bitches!


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